I have been living with a lot of “shoulds.” I should do this, I should have done that. These are both self-imposed and partially culturally imposed. An athlete should look like this, an athlete should act like that. All these shoulds are preventing me from fully enjoying my successes, along with holding me back from making more progress in other areas.

A lot of my current shoulds are holiday related. I feel like I should be decking my house out and having a holiday party with lots of friends and cheer. I feel like that should make me happy and should make me enjoy this holiday season. But really I WANT to cuddle with my pets, curl up in a blanket and read a book. I don’t WANT to fight traffic and crowds at the stores. I don’t WANT to expend the huge amount of emotional energy that it takes for me to be social. I am, on many levels, actually shy and introverted. Holiday parties, or any party for that matter, are emotionally exhausting for me.

So why do I think that is what I should be doing? Commercials probably have a lot to do with it. You see all those happy people at festive parties on the commercials. Also I recall my 20’s living and working in the city where I did the party thing all the time. But that was a different lifetime ago, and I am just not that person any more. Plus that was a lot of shallow and false happiness, not real or deep levels of joy. There seems to be a lot of cultural expectations and pressure during this holiday season that you should be doing something interesting and exciting. I even felt embarrassed when asked at work to share what I was doing over winter break…. ummm… nothing.

My other shoulds are fitness related. I make my weekly plans and goals based on these self-imposed shoulds. Then I am disappointed when I don’t do what I should. One of the biggest shoulds was what I thought I should look like after my 100 mile bike ride goal. Some how I had a vision of a thinner and younger version of myself that finished that ride. The ride ended up feeling so anti-climatic once I completed it, mostly because it (the ride and myself) did not look like how I have envisioned it. I didn’t really enjoy my accomplishment because it didn’t match my “should”.

SO, my ‘homework’ this week is to really listen to my body to what I WANT to do, and forget what I think I SHOULD be doing. To let go of these unrealistic, media driven ideas of what the holidays SHOULD look like, and instead celebrate it how I WANT to celebrate it.

I hope that you have a wonderful holiday doing exactly what you WANT to do and not just doing what you think you should.